MARTY

I'm glad the 18 year old me had the foresight to keep this because the 37 year old me with a 20 year reunion next year thinks it is hilarious!  Assignment was a 3-page paper about a person you know.  The rhyming is because I thought it made it more fun to write.


Shannon Schlothauer
Freshman Comp
11-9-93

MARTY
Once upon a time, not so very long ago,
I witnessed an experience about which you ought to know.
You see I have this dear friend Marty, he's one terrific guy,
he's always nice and friendly, and sometimes a little shy.
In high school Marty had lots of friends, boys and girls the same,
he was always out on weekends and everyone knew his name.
Marty wasn't too concerned with academic studies,
and on any given weekday, he was out driving with his buddies.
As graduation was approaching and high school was winding down,
Marty decided that in the fall, he would be college bound.
Many of Marty's friends were going to college together,
but Marty didn't want to be stuck in a rut with them forever.
He knew that college meant it was time to be making up your mind
of exactly what you want with life and what you want to find.
So Marty packed his Mazda with all his dorm room needs
and prayed that he'd be happy where this new road would lead.
When Marty got to school, and found where his room was at,
He started unloading all his stuff and met his roommate Pat.
Now in the first few weeks, when no one knew too much,
some acquaintances of Marty got together each day for lunch.
Now this is where I come in, and the rest of our gang, too
and actually where the story starts, of us at DSU.

Marty's circle of friends started with Mike and Nate and I.
Then Wendy and Chad came around and Dave started dropping by.
Next we met Laurie, and she fit in so well,
with us and Pat and Jesse, and her roommate, Mel.
Last but certainly not at all least, we added Mike and Rick
and that makes up the majority of our little clique!
Now Marty was adjusting well and liked what he was doing,
but unfortunately, he had the nasty habit of chewing.
He was going to all his classes and lifting weights after school,
and as a group, we all liked bowling and spent time shooting pool.
The only downfall came on nights with schedules clear,
because with nothing else to do they would just start drinking beer.
The first few times were funny, and helped them to unwind,
then some bad things happened which you'd think would change their minds.
One night they were all hungry, but in no condition to drive,
so I drove them all to Subway, to be sure that they'd arrive.
When we were coming back, to finally go to bed,
Marty leaned over in the parking lot and left what he'd been fed!
The next drunk he experienced, Marty hates to talk about.
It happened when he'd had so many beers that he'd lost count.
He was too drunk to know a good girl from a bad one,
so when a bad one started hitting on him, he didn't turn and run.
The next day though, when he woke up, he really was a wreck,
when he noticed a phone number on his hand, and hickies on his neck.
The worst thing was Marty didn't remember a thing about this chick,
and when someone pointed her out to him, it almost made him sick.
Now after these experiences, Marty'd slow down, you'd think.
But guess what! He didn't - Marty still wanted to drink!
So some time later, after a long all-night party,
the morning brought a big surprise - a girl was in bed with Marty!
Now Marty tried and tried to recall the events of the night before,
but he could only remember certain parts and wish he remembered more.
His relief was great when talking to his friends and finding out the facts,
after knowing he didn't touch the girl, he could finally relax.
They said that he was sleeping as the party started to slow,
and this girl passed out on his bed and no one took her home.
No nothing had gone wrong, and the puzzle was all solved,
but suddenly Marty realized the potential dangers involved
by drinking all the time and having too much fun,
and waking up not knowing exactly what you've done.
On top of this confusion are rotten side effects
of being tired, sick and headachey, and feeling like a wreck.
So Marty decided to stop drinking and work on lifting weights,
and also staying healthy and watching what he ate.
To fit into the picture, the chewing had to stop,
and to carry it even further, Marty even stopped drinking pop!
He's been going for about two weeks now with no pop, beer or chew,
and lifting weights and eating good, and feeling real good too!
The other night, we were all out, and having lots of fun
and Marty gave in and had a beer, but he only had just one!

Our group takes care of itself and we try to warn someone
if they want to do something they'll regret that at the time, seems fun.
We've learned to trust and rely on what each one in our group thinks,
and they rely on me to drive, because I do not drink!
We trust each others' judgement and respect opinions, too
and usually listen to each others' advice on what we ought to do.
So every time we go out at night, or maybe to a party,
everyone watches everyone else, and we all look out for Marty!